Hello All! Sorry its been over a week since my last post. I was talking to some friends lately about the many different views and opinions on infertility. We were discussing how some people almost back away from discussion about infertility and others consider it a family matter that you "just don't talk about" outside of the marriage.
First of all let me say that infertility is a medical diagnosis, its not a mental problem, its not all about issues with worrying or trying too hard or not trying enough or anxiety or patience etc, etc. A friend of mine, who has two beautiful children through invitro and is the author of "
Do You Love Someone Who is Infertile", Shari Stewart, told me a while back that 90% of the cause of infertility are purely medical reasons. So why don't we talk about it, why do we treat it like a bad word? We talk about cancer and diabetes and every other disorder, syndrome or diagnosis that's out there...but infertility, not so much!
I completely understand it's very personal and emotional, and I think it is a woman's choice whether she wants to talk about it or not...but often times it is the people around the infertile woman that doesn't talk about it or "hushes" the infertile. Some people may just feel uncomfortable about it, they may have their own issues from the past or they may not be very educated on infertility or know what to say. I would bet that most of us know someone that has infertility problems. I can only speak from my personal feelings, but if you don't know what to say or are uneducated about infertility, you don't have to give a profound response or say something that you think might help the person (when really it probably doesn't). You can simply be there to love them, hear them, give them a hug, check in on them , ask how you can help, pray for and with them, etc.
I was reading online and came across a comment on the website
http://www.thebump.com/ It had a very interesting comment under the title of "
Infertility is not a bad word" (I found this after naming this post the same thing). Here is what it says:
"It is not an accusation.
It is not a label.
It is not a life sentence.
It does not define a woman or man or couple.
It is a medical diagnosis.
Diabetes is not called "Trouble controlling blood sugar", nor is cancer called "difficulty keeping cell division in check."
We say "Infertility!" in badges. We refer to ourselves as "infertiles" in posts.
We already know that we are more than our medical diagnosis - we are students and wives and employees and sisters and daughters and friends and some are even mothers.
But we share a common bond in that we are infertile.
It's OK to say it. It's OK to read it. It is our common struggle against which to take up arms."
I'm not sure if I could of said it better. It is OK to talk about it! It's not a bad word!
There is a great website
http://www.infertilitysurvivalguide.com/issues/chapter13.htm and it shows how much God talked about or stories were shared about infertility, there are 300 plus women written in scripture regarding infertility! God certainly had no trouble talking about it. Sarah, Rebecca, Racheal, Hannah, Elizabeth, these are just a few of the Godly women the dealt with infertility. If you have time, take a few minutes to look of their stories.
In the meantime these are the words I hope to shout one day:
"I prayed for this child, and the LORD has granted me what I asked of him." 1Samuel 1:27
Have a Blessed weekend!
