Keeping Hope Alive...

Hello All,
   Chris and I have slowly entered back into the land of the living.  I have had a longing to post on my blog for a while now, but when I read my last post it was so sad for me and has kept me at bay for a while.  I first have to say Thank You, Thank You, Thank You to all of our supporters.  We have had such an outpouring of support and we are so truly grateful for the people in our lives that have prayed, listened, sent food, gifts, and spent many hours consoling us.  None of your thoughts and/or actions were over looked once.  I feel so blessed when I look at our support group and our surroundings.

   If you read the previous post you know that we named our baby, that we miscarried, Hope.  It seemed very appropriate and has brought me so much comfort.  I still think of Hope often, well daily.  I still cry weekly and I talk to God about her and write in my journal to her.  Chris has tried his hardest to be strong but he deeply grieves as well and recently admitted that this has affected him more than he ever dreamed something would.  We both consider ourselves parents of an angel and even if she just lived in my tummy for a little while, she was precious to me and I will see her again in Heaven. I would have been 17 weeks yesterday.

  I am reminded of a song, "Glory Baby" by Watermark that heaven will hold her before we do and she will hear lullabies by angels and never know the troubles of this world, wow, I am grateful for that! Who better to rock my baby to sleep then her heavenly father and the loved ones that have gone before us.  Many people may not believe this idea, but we do and not just as a fairy tale but as truth, so I thank you for respecting our thoughts and beliefs.

  Well, as hard as it is, we plan to get back onto the fertility track.  We needed a break and I'm not sure if we are ready but if we wait to heal completely, that will never happen.  Many of you may wonder about our faith.  It would be fair to say we have both struggled with God's decision to bring Hope home, but surprisingly he guided us through the whole process and we can not be angry or wonder why anymore. Anger was never even the primary emotion, just hurt, discouragement and wonder. His word says:

"In this world you will have troubles, but take heart, I have overcome the world" John 16:33

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness" 2 Chronicles 12:9

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted" Matthew 5:4
  
   I recently read an amazing book, "Hannah's Hope" in the book, Jennifer Saake wrote It is easy to trust when God's ways mesh perfectly with my plans. But it is only when reality collides with my preconceptions that my faith is tried and proved.  This is true for Chris and I, we can not waver on our faith simply because things didn't turn out how we wanted.  I know God's plan is bigger and better and I can't wait to see what he has in store for us, we trust it will be amazing. 
  
Again, thanks for hanging in there with us and please continue your prayers and support.  With much love in our heart, Amy and Chris :)