Monday, October 15, 2012

National Pregnancy and Infant Loss Rememberance Day

In October 1988 President Ronald Regan proclaimed October as Natioanl Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. October 15th was named the day of Rememberance for all the babies lost to miscarriage, ectopic pregnancy, molar pregnancy, birth defects, SIDS and other causes. Many families experience this grief in silence. Although it seems we have a day for everything, I think this is a good way to look at a silent type of grief and despair many families go through year after year.

It is asked that everybody light a candle this evening and let it burn for an hour in Rememberance of these babies. Chris and I did so and said a prayer for our Hope as well as our future child and the many families we know that have also lost a child and even the ones that we don't know. We ask that you take a moment to do the same, if you are not reading this on October 15th, that's ok, do it anyways. We believe life begins at conception so no matter how far along during pregnancy, if you lose a baby, it is the death of a child.

Some of you know that Chris and I have continued with Infertility treatment since our miscarriage, having two procedures since the miscarriage. This last round the doctor added MANY injectables, which meant a lot of shots and ultrasounds and doctors appointments and bloodwork and trips to Cincinatti. Well, we found out September 8th we were NOT pregnant. This was devastating to say the least. I went completely numb for several days, Chris felt deflated. I couldn't rebound this time and Chris let me know he felt the same way. I remember just feeling speechless, for days I couldn't get angry, I couldn't cry, I couldn't come up with a plan. I knew we were going to have to skip trying for September because we were out of town.

Eventually the tears, the anger, the questioning, the despair and many other emotions came. Along with those emotions came difficult talks between Chris and I. First of all, I am so very fortunate to have the husband I do. We have decided to wait a while to continue with infertility treatment. This DOES NOT MEAN WE GIVE UP!!!! We really need a break mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. We will definitely come back to infertility treatment next year, we just need a few months to regroup.

I personally want to take some time to make sure I'm healthy and fit. Most importantly Chris and I want to make sure our journey for a baby is not getting in the way of our relationship with God and we continue to strengthen our relationship with our Heavenly Father and not let a desire for a baby become an idle. We have no doubt God has called us to be parents and we do not know why he has not allowed us to have a baby yet but we are trying to trust in his timing and we ask for your prayers in that as well.

While months might not seem like much time to some, in the infertility world, it is like decades, so choosing to take months off is a very well thought out, dedicated, prayer led decision. Continue to pray for our healing from the loss of our baby Hope as we still find our grief overwhelms us at times and please pray for our upcoming infertility treatments in the future or that we could conceive naturally!

Your support does not go unnoticed and we are so blessed to have such great friends, thank you, thank you, thank you for all you do for us.

"Wait for The Lord, Be brave and courageous and wait patiently for The Lord" Psalm 27:14

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